When It’s So Hard To Just Say “Hi”

27 May, 2008 – 7:15 pm

Last evening while out shopping, I bumped into an old school mate. Well, I saw her and recognised her but I am not sure if she saw me as she overtook me from behind. Perhaps she also saw and recognised me but pretended not to. I pretended not to.

I still recall her full name even though it has been years since we went to school together. I am good with names and faces. My theory is that the less years one clocked in school, college or university, the better one could recall all the names of students and teachers. Maybe there just aren’t that many names and faces to remember.

So I chanced upon her and it is kind of odd that although I knew that she has been living and working in Ipoh since graduating from university up north, this was only the second time that I bumped into her, and at the same mall too. I believed that she also saw and recognised me that first time, yet we both did not acknowledge each other. Well, it was kind of awkward since she was on a date back then, years ago.

It is all the more strange as she rode on the same school bus as I did for at least two years and in fact, she lived rather near my house too.

I found a lot of my old school mates on Facebook but I don’t see this person on it. Most of my school friends are already married with children, or at various stages of pregnancies.

It has been years since I met anyone from school face to face and had a real conversation. What I know is that we have lost the camaraderie and that we are no longer the same. At least, I am no longer the same. I wish that sometimes, I could still be with them and feel like I did back then when we were still in school but I find that it is no longer possible. My current friends are all those whom I met since leaving school and in fact, there are a handful of them whom I met online, and who are very good to me.

The saying that “make new friends and keep the old” comes to mind but seriously it is very hard to follow through. For one, our interests have diverged so far apart. Being with my old school mates will only trash my self-esteem because I cannot measure up to them in society. I may earn more than some of them but I don’t even own a power suit because I work in my pajamas. I don’t wear make up or high heels, heck, I don’t even own a handbag.

I know this may not be a big deal to some people, but being less educated than some of the girls who performed worse than I did back in school is, and always will be, a chip on my shoulder.

Hello and welcome to my blog. I would love to receive your comments! If you wish to be updated on new content, do subscribe to my RSS feed on your feed reader or via email. Thanks for visiting!

Tags: friends, Friendship